You go back over things you said and things you did. You wonder whether you were too critical, too demanding or not supportive enough. You remember arguments and ask yourself whether you made things worse.
They may blame you too. They drink because you nag them, because you don't understand them, because you make them unhappy or because things at home are difficult. After hearing it often enough, you start to question yourself.
You look for the point where you could have done something differently and changed what happened.
You want to know whether their drinking is somehow your fault.
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